dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
