My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
