Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
