that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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