Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
