Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
