Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
