its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
