You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
