it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize