if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
