i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
