So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
