Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
