Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
