Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
