So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
