I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Come on in and take your pants off
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