Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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