lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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