I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
