just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
