just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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