new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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