If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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