you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
