Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
