Can Purell be used as lube?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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