i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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