Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
