I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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