The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
