i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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