the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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