ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Couch. On fire.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
