Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...

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(719): View more from Colorado

Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

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(757): View more from Virginia

I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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(631): View more from New York

lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.

(631): View more from New York

i think i have dick pic PTSD.

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(419): View more from Ohio

This town reeks of teen pregnancy.

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