i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
