You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
two words: eviction party
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
