Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
