he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
