You work out of a Hotel?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
