Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
