It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You work out of a Hotel?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
