ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
