Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize