I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
