I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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