if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
