i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize