i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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