his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
