Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize