Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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