She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
