Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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