did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
