his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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