I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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