dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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