Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
