it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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