dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
