Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize